In du Maurier’s Rebecca, the heroine duels not with a classic grotesque monster inside, but the spectre of the impossible ideal self. This construction of what she (nameless) should be (named - even the book’s title) creates a doubling between the perceived self and the ideal self.
This mirrors the contemporary quandary where our doubles live in the social gaze and are validated and measured by data and driven by the desire for perfection. However, even the triumph of data doesn’t banish the monster of imposter syndrome.
We create and collect fragments of our past - photos, text, film that are reproductions of the selves we once were. But the meaning ascribed to them is hindsight from our current vantage point.
Just because it’s futile doesn’t mean that we as humans stop trying to find meaning. Just because symbols are empty doesn’t mean there is no meaning.
The journey into the void is the meaning.
When we find fragments we make the journey meaningful. It still produces identity, even if based on pastiche. It creates the meta modern Gothic double with the empty ideal we create in monstrous contrast to the Romantic concept of our true self.
Muslin of Je reviéns, 2022.